My ticket to Illinois is officially booked. Tuesday night, we finalized our plans, mostly due to the fact that my mom was having her hip-replacement surgery the following day. I was getting anxious to make some plans that would get me out there and helping her get back on her feet, so to speak. My poor mama . . . that woman has had her fair share of physical ailments. However, her surgeon is optimistic that she'll make a full recovery in 6-8 weeks. Here's to a summer of me getting to take care of my mom, something I've always wanted to be able to do for her.
June 8, 2013 is when I'll make my departure. I am so very excited! I spend a lot of time driving to work and back and I can't help but ponder what it will be like for parenthood to become a reality. I have gotten choked up and weepy (I can be a mess of feelings sometimes) at the thought of having my very own baby smells, smiles, and skin to nibble on. Oh it's an exciting thought! Isn't it?!
I know it's not 100% but I am feeling good and happy and at peace. I am living by the mantra of, "Come What May", truly! I have had a good long year to sort this all in my mind and I've come out stronger, smarter, wiser, and with a whole lot more empathy for those in the same boat. I have learned that this little trial called "Infertility" can do one of two things 1. Throw you into self-pity, deny yourself of progress and personal growth, and put a strain-like wedge in your marriage - all of which I was very close to coming to or 2. Acknowledge the issue, gain wisdom and strength, learn that you are very much, in fact, resilient; and become happier and more open to communication and love in your marriage. I'd like to think that after a year, I've chosen the second option. I am a strong believer that through trials and life lessons, a part of our brain - perhaps a thought process evolves and a new way of our perception on life is gained. Life's lessons - good or bad - really can be a beautiful thing if we let them.
Thank you Dani-girl for my "Illinois or Bust" care package! I'm so very lucky to have sweet friends like you. You better believe none of it will be used until I'm on my way to the great "Land of Lincoln"!
June 8th - I look forward to seeing you. Let's do this.