It Dawned On Me...

A certain thought recently came to mind. . . Actually, a lot of thoughts have been going through my mind for quite some time.  It dawned on me that I should probably journal about what I have been feeling and what I have been experiencing.  Something that I could show my future children...to let them know that they were VERY MUCH wanted; to someday remind myself that they were VERY MUCH wanted. . .when I felt like I was reliving my mom's stressful mothering moments with us.  I suppose this is the result!

Our Engagement Photo - 2005

Steven and I were married on November 19, 2005 in the Mount Timpanogos LDS Temple.  We are LDS or more commonly known as Mormon.  "Don't Mormons have a million kids?", you ask.  Maybe it's our sense of not wanting to fall under stereotypes; but we were young (barely 22 and almost 22) and so we made the conscious decision to finish school (are you really ever done?!), have fun, save money, and WAIT to have kids.

Wedding Day - November 19, 2005

The August before our five-year mark was when we decided that if it happened, it happened.  Fast forward to February of the following year and still, nothing.  I always had this feeling that it wouldn't be easy for us...me....more like it.  I had never had regular cycles and so with my prior knowledge and fears (due to my knowledge), I felt like it would not be an easy task.  I made an appointment with an OB/GYN here in town to discuss my options.  My doctor determined that I probably had ovulation issues and put me on 6 months of Clomid, with no prior testing or monitoring.  Bad news.  I should have seen the red flag, when my dad told me that doctors should never just hand out a prescription without any prior testing.

**The bad thing about having a father as a physician is that you tend to not take their word too seriously. You either feel like they are just brushing it off or are being way too dramatic over your symptoms.  Either way, you as the afflicted, are usually wrong!**

Fast forward to December 2011.  After six months of Clomid and nothing but discouragement and pains on my left ovarian side, I called my dad a little worried.  He told me to get into my OB/GYN as soon as possible.  I got in right away and my doctor felt around my abdomen and noticed that it was enlarged.  He determined that I probably had uterine fibroids and ordered a pelvic ultrasound.  That time in between my doctor's appointment and the results of my ultrasound felt like forever!  The results came back and revealed that I had a 10cm (about the size of a softball - yikes!) cyst somewhere between my ovaries.

My dad warned me of 2 things:

1.  This will not go away on it's own and needs to be surgically removed, very soon.

2.  If the doctor mentions anything other than laparoscopic surgery, you are coming home (Illinois) for the surgery.

Well, sure enough, the doctor mentioned that it could (yeah, right) go away on it's own and that the only method would be to cut me open, much like a c-section, and remove the cyst.  Recovery time would be anywhere from around 4-6 weeks.

No, thank you.  I flew home the following week. . . 

I went in for surgery on January 26, 2012 and came out with one less endometrioma, one less fallopian tube on my left side, and a prescription for 6 months of Lupron Depot (the Devil's drug...not really, but kind of - I have since, quit this drug).  It shocked me that this could be a possibility, but apparently the tube was 4 times it's normal size.  My surgical photos make it look like a bowel intestine and not a thin-like tube like the right side.

My surgery also revealed that I have Stage 3 Endometriosis and possible Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome.  That explained all those years of horrid cramps during my period!

The doctor who put me on Clomid, and then wrote my situation off as unimportant? I got rid of him.

I found a new doctor, who I love. . . Dr. Keith Brill knows his stuff, is attentive, and sent me in for further testing.  A hysterosalpingogram (HSG) test performed in April, confirmed that my other tube was patent (clear) and I finally felt like I had achieved a small victory!   

That's how we got where we are today.  Tomorrow we go in to The Fertility Center of Las Vegas to get our blood drawn for, yet again, more testing.