Thursday, May 24, 2012

What's In A Name?

We are Steven and Stephanie.  We basically share the same name; they mean the same.  We've been married since November 19, 2005 and have enjoyed the time that we have had growing up and growing together.  We made the decision to postpone having children until were a little bit settled in our lives and when we felt the time was right.  I guess you could consider us somewhat of 'control freaks'! Unfortunately, my husband and I, like many other couples, learned that we struggle with infertility so my mind has been clouded with "What Ifs?", "Whens?" and "Really, Why Us?".

Am I shocked that this is even a possibility?  No.  I have been around this field of work/couples who deal with these issues for as long as I can remember.  Ironically, my dad happens to be a Reproductive Endocrinologist (Fertility Specialist) and if you want, you can look him up.  Dr. John P. Holden, M.D....he runs his own practice; Advanced Reproductive Center in Rockford, IL.  I may be biased, but he is brilliant at what he does and has brought much happiness to couples, who are looking for that "missing piece".  Okay, this post isn't about my's just to make a point that I am very aware and find our situation to be one of life's many ironies.

Steven and Myself - March 2012

 A thought came to my mind recently, "Share your grief, sorrow, anxiety, and confusion about your journey."  "If it doesn't help others who are going through the same thing, it can at least help you."

I post regularly on a blog about our daily lives, but I have kept posts about our struggle quite mum.  Am I embarrassed about not being able to conceive?  Heck no!  Saddened?  Yes.  In many ways I look at it as our trial that we get to go through together.  It is very much a part of me that is helping me grow and gain wisdom and strength.  That should never be an embarrassment.  I have just decided that our 'lifestyle blog' was not going to turn into our 'fertility battle' blog.  Maybe someday the two will meet, but until then I would like for this to remain a positive tool for those struggling with infertility.

And so, 'My Rosy Reverie' is born (no pun intended).  The road has been long and exhausting, and I feel as if it might continue to be something we have to endure; but I'm feeling quite optimistic!

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