One-Way Ticket to Parenthood.

My ticket to Illinois is officially booked.  Tuesday night, we finalized our plans, mostly due to the fact that my mom was having her hip-replacement surgery the following day.  I was getting anxious to make some plans that would get me out there and helping her get back on her feet, so to speak.  My poor mama . . . that woman has had her fair share of physical ailments.  However, her surgeon is optimistic that she'll make a full recovery in 6-8 weeks.  Here's to a summer of me getting to take care of my mom, something I've always wanted to be able to do for her.

June 8, 2013 is when I'll make my departure.  I am so very excited!  I spend a lot of time driving to work and back and I can't help but ponder what it will be like for parenthood to become a reality.  I have gotten choked up and weepy (I can be a mess of feelings sometimes) at the thought of having my very own baby smells, smiles, and skin to nibble on.  Oh it's an exciting thought! Isn't it?! 

I know it's not 100% but I am feeling good and happy and at peace.  I am living by the mantra of, "Come What May", truly!  I have had a good long year to sort this all in my mind and I've come out stronger, smarter, wiser, and with a whole lot more empathy for those in the same boat.  I have learned that this little trial called "Infertility" can do one of two things  1. Throw you into self-pity, deny yourself of progress and personal growth, and put a strain-like wedge in your marriage - all of which I was very close to coming to or 2.  Acknowledge the issue, gain wisdom and strength, learn that you are very much, in fact, resilient; and become happier and more open to communication and love in your marriage.  I'd like to think that after a year, I've chosen the second option.  I am a strong believer that through trials and life lessons, a part of our brain - perhaps a thought process evolves and a new way of our perception on life is gained.  Life's lessons - good or bad - really can be a beautiful thing if we let them.

Thank you Dani-girl for my "Illinois or Bust" care package!  I'm so very lucky to have sweet friends like you.  You better believe none of it will be used until I'm on my way to the great "Land of Lincoln"!

June 8th - I look forward to seeing you.  Let's do this. 

A Very Happy Mother's Day Weekend, Indeed.

It happened, Friday morning.  The very last and final of my fertility tests, my sonohysterogram.  As the sonographer searched through my file for notes regarding further testing, I jumped up and felt like screaming, "It's been a fun ride, but . . PEACE OUT!"  My face says it all . . .

It was necessary that my joy be documented.  My uterus is clear.  As the sonographer put it, "Your uterus shows no signs of interference for implantation."  Hooray for a good baby maker! In all seriousness, though, I've had this fear that if any medical professional was given the opportunity to peek inside my uterus, I'd be a lost cause.  On the contrary, there is NOTHING!  As planned, zero surgery. . . yay! . . we will proceed with IVF next month.  I'm beyond giddy!  It feels like Christmas/the end of the school year/we're going on a fabulous vacation - all bundled up into one package and then multiplied by ten.

Yes, it's another Mother's Day sans enfant, but I received some really excellent news; and I could not be more grateful.  I'm thankful for the tender mercies.  They are real and they are there.  At the very beginning of this roller-coaster-ride-of-a-trial, I was devastated and I was bitter.  Shamefully, I have to say that I've never really had anything not go my way, and so it was a hard pill to swallow.  I totally get it now.  It's hard to explain, but a lot of things needed to change and I think that this trial was what it took for it to all happen.  Trust me, I have a l-o-n-n-g-g-g way to go (don't we all, though?), but I think I'm a better and stronger person than I was a year ago.  I believe Steven could attest to it all.  We've come a long way together, he and I . . . I love that guy and all that he does for us.

Speaking of roller coaster rides, Steven and I were 2 of 4 chaperones to take 45 of his 8th graders to Magic Mountain.  Let me tell you, "It was fabulous!" 22 hours - there and back . . . the kids were super cool and my husband sure seems to have found his path.  It's sure good to see Mr. D in his element.

I am praying that my 'roller coaster pics' don't go viral.  They are, in fact, that bad.  Let's just say, that the teenager behind the counter, knew exactly where our pictures were.  Yikes!

#Holdenfam Spring Break: Part Deux

If I had to name one place that has remained constant in my life, it would have to be my grandparents' home in Thousand Oaks.  That place goes as far back in my memory bank as I can go.  Cousin-time, swimming, trips to the park, walks to Thrifty for ice cream, crazy outdoor dogs ( it is my personal opinion that dogs should not be left alone outside . . . it will cause mania in canines), holiday dinners . . . you name it.  While I accepted it as the Holdens' main hub/my birthplace, I also took it for granted.  Regretfully so, because let's be honest . . . it's freaking California!  The weather is perfect, it's green(er), the ocean is near, and the recreational possibilities are endless.

Wednesday afternoon, we made the 5-hour drive down . .  sans Steven - due to his grandmother's health.  In some ways, it felt like my childhood again . . . family road trips were a regular occurrence and so it felt familiar to be taking one again.

Highlights:

-Staying up late and chatting the night away with my aunt, Vicky.

-Thousand Oaks Farmer's Market - holy citrus extravaganza!

-The Oaks Mall (Paper Source . . .yes please!)

-Papa's honey-baked ham . . . so good!

-Walking, yes walking! . . . to Trader Joe's

We made it back to Vegas in time for some dinner at Sushi Fever, where we were ever so honored to be in the presence of Carrot Top (yes, super strange), prepare/enjoy Easter lunch the following day, and allow my family plenty of time to make their flight back to Illinois.  

Spring Break 2013, you were really good to us!

#Holdenfam Spring Break: Part 1

I do realize that this is a month overdue . . . but this little break with the Holden fam is worth noting.   Spring Break 2013 --yes when you are in education, you get to have these fun breaks all over again-- was celebrated here in Las Vegas with my mom, dad, and brother, Shane; with a much needed de-thawing of their Midwestern bones.

Part 1 of their stay includes, but is not limited to . . .

-Celebrating my Dad's 55th Birthday - - yay Dad!

-A couple hikes up Lone Mountain (my first time!)

-1 batch of Strawberry Freezer Jam with my Mama

-Golf for the guys

-The movie: OZ . . . loved it!

-1 glorious afternoon touring the Hoover Dam (Our first time . . the Holdens that is . . . Steven's a native so he doesn't count!) 

-Our second attempt at visiting Pawn Stars . . . the line is simply too long.  They actually have a food stand out in the parking lot.  Can you believe that?!

Part 2 pertains to a trip down to southern California, which deserves a post of its own. . .

'Miracle May'?

Photo from my cousin Jenn's wedding this past weekend, here in Vegas of all places (she lives in Idaho)! 

A couple things about this photo:

1.  This is my aunt Mary - she is my goddaughter's grandma (yes, grandma!) and she's b e a u t i f u l both inside and out.  I loved having her here from Minnesota for the weekend's festivities.

2.  Now I realize that I look stupidly happy, but I am!  I think this kind of reflects how I've been feeling.  Stupidly happy.

I promised that I would give an update on the baby-making plans.  Here it goes: 

- I've been on the pill for the past 10 months in order to keep my endometriosis from spreading like wildfire, however, making pregnancy impossible.  I kind of explained it all here.

- It has been the plan all year to go back this summer, to the land where the soil is fertile and pray that it rubs off on me . . . aka use my dad's resources in Illinois and do in vitro fertilization at cost.

- I left one final test for completion - close to the time where we leave (a little over a month away).  The sonohysterogram is done in order to detect whether or not there are any abnormal growths on the uterus.  Boring stuff, but it'd be nice to have things good to go for June.

And so, the sonohysterogram was scheduled for today.  I said "was" because I was supposed to get it, however, due to 'active bleeding' (tmi - I'm sorry but it only makes sense to give such details) I'm getting off the pill to get my cycle under control and then proceed with a sonohysterogram that is not at risk of any false positives.  Do I still have you or have I lost you yet?!

No birth control = 1 in 1,000 chance that I can get pregnant this next month - according to Dr. D

Pretty sad odds, but I am praying for a miracle.  'Miracle May', perhaps?  Otherwise, I'll remain, stupidly happy.

Service Auction Social

Last Fall, I was called to be in the Relief Society Activities Committee/Service Representative for the Ward.  Which is basically awesome, because I get to help plan the social events.  If you know me . . . I love me some social time!  At the beginning of the year, we mapped out what activities we would be doing throughout the year and who would be officiating based on their duties.  Since I am the "Service Representative" for the Ward, I wanted to do something really fun that stirred up excitement over service.  Let's be honest, sometimes service projects are the last thing on our list of 'to-dos'.  So, thanks to my trusty sources (Pinterest), I found an awesome blogpost on throwing a 'Service Auction' and by golly! . . . it looked amazingly FUN!  Blog post found here.  I tweaked some things to accommodate our ward/budget/time-frame, but this was a fabulous source.

Our set up . . . we had a sign-in table, future acts of service/baked goods/handmade goodies table with bidding bags behind the items, and a survey-on-clipboards table.  Our auction was a "silent auction". . . with our time-frame we figured that this was the best option.  Oh, and I should mention the fabulous girls on our committee . . . oh! I could not have done it without our RS women!!

This activity really allowed for us to see the talents and energies of the women in our Ward.  I'm still in awe.  There was much laughter and a whole lot of friendly competition!  Michelle's (remember Michelle?!) 'made-to-order Bouchon cake' was a hot ticket item as well as the gluten-free brownies I brought for all of our gluten-intolerant women . . . one of our sister missionaries included.  Kinda fun watching them battle it out.  I scored some wonderful homemade bath salts and scrubs as well as some much-needed dog-walking for Bear.

We threw in a birthday cake for the treat, because March is the Relief Society's official birthday month.  Happy 171st Birthday, Relief Society . . . you've come a long way after all these years!

Such a great activity and so much fun! If they keep me in there, we'll do it again . . . hopefully bigger next time!

**************

Remember how I said that one of my goals for the year was to do more service?  So far, feeling pretty good on this one although, there is always room for more growth.  I said it during my closing words at the activity, but I cannot even express the joy felt when doing something for others.  It's helped me grow as an individual and has been a huge blessing in my life.

Lapse in Time

This evening's text from 'L'Autre Steph' (French for "the other Stephanie - my mom's nickname for my best friend): 

"Why aren't you blogging anymore?"

Ugh, Yes. True. Sorry.

Which excuse did you want?  1. I've been busy with Relief Society activities.  2. My family came into town for Spring Break 2013 . . . holla! or  3. I have been blogging, just not on this blog per se - ElderHoldenNorway.blogspot.com is as up-to-date as possible . . . give me at least some credit there, puh-lease!  Speaking of, I freaking miss that kid . . . like a lot, but being his 'Blog Administrator', I kinda feel like he is not so far away.

However, I do, solemnly swear, that I will update you all on what we've been up to in these parts.  You can look forward to:

-The Relief Society Activity that I planned and executed successfully, with the help of some super ladies!

-Spring Break 2013 with the fam dam (uh, literally!)

-Home Improvements

-My somewhat green thumb - exciting stuff, I tell you!

-Our 'Baby Making' Plans - get your minds outta the gutter . . . it's strictly lab work.  Ha!

In the meantime, here are a couple pictures for you all to enjoy, because that's what blogs are really all about.  Am I right, or am I right?!

Spring Break 2012 - Me, Christopher, and Shane at Spring Mountain Ranch up Red Rock Canyon.  Geez, I miss that Pooker!

Spring Break 2013 - (L-R) Shane, my mom, Me, Steven, my dad at The Hoover Dam