8 Years.

8 years.

1 dog.

4 places of residence.

7 vehicles.

2 degrees obtained with one (still) in progress.

9 jobs held.

1 trip to France.

1 surgery.

1 infertility diagnosis.

1 trip to Maui.

1 successful round of IVF.

6 freezer babies.

1 baby girl on the way!

We Are Blessed.

It dawned on me the other day, that I most definitely would not be where I am today without this guy.  I'm not saying that I wouldn't be a functioning member of society (okay maybe), but I most definitely would not have been able to battle infertility and achieve one of my life-long goals of becoming a mother by my lonesome.  I'm specifically referring to my Mr. D - because together we were able to heal from our diagnosis, make a plan of achieving our goal, and will see parenthood come to fruition in the very-near future.  That's a huge thing to get through!  It had to be him . . . we've come a long way together . . I can't wait to see what the next year holds!

We're Having A . . .

GIRL!!!

We were told back at 14 weeks that it very much looked like a girl - but to not start going crazy on decorating/purchasing.  I started wrapping my mind around this baby being a girl and so when we received the confirmation this past Monday (19 weeks), we were overjoyed!

I'll admit - originally, I had kinda wanted a Mama's boy/an older brother for the girls who came after.  I love my younger brothers, but secretly always wanted an older brother to look out for me.  God had a plan.  I'm a first-born through and through.  My overly analytical mind has weighed the pros and cons and I think I've come up with a good list of reasons why it's a good thing we are having a girl . . .

-I've been hoarding baby girl items since 2006.  No joke.  I've had a stash.

-She'll have an older girl cousin on each side of her family = instant playmate

-Bows, accessories, shoes.  Need I say more?

-Girls' names are so much easier to choose - she has a definite first name - possible middle - we're just not revealing quite yet!

-I can pass on my Samantha - American Girl Doll (I chose her because we are totally alike! Ha, right.) and Playmobil dollhouse (holy-freak! check out the price tag on that now - vintage gem!) - Two of my most treasured childhood items.

-She'll have an inherent love for the Nutcracker as much as her mother.

-Most importantly, Steven has a soft spot in his heart for a sweet baby girl.  He needs his own. Period.

PS-  I'm pretty proud of my Petunia Picklebottom set (photo - right) that I snagged for $15 on clearance at TJ Maxx.  Those suckers run for $60 at Nordstrom see here.  It's been on my mind since I first saw it over a month ago - it was $20 then!

You Think So, Huh?

You think that because you . . .

-Are measuring 19 weeks along (big) and receive A+ ultrasounds every other week and . . .

-Just turned 30 two weeks ago (Hello! New decade!) and . . .

-Had the best birthday surprise that any 30-year old girl could dream of by having her husband and best friend plan the sneakiest stay-cation (apparently was in the works since July - literally had no clue!) and  . . .

-Were 3 weeks behind on your missionary brother's blog . . .

                entitles you to not making updates on your own blog?!

'Tis true.  I've been really bad at blogging.  Not that I don't have anything to blog about . . . I just haven't been feeling it.  My creative juices just haven't been flowing.  I chalk it up to pregnancy brain, pregnancy lack of motivation, and too much Dawson's Creek (oops! I really just admitted that). . .

On pregnancy:

-Thank you, second trimester!  You are a beautiful thing!

-I started feeling baby move over my birthday weekend (16 weeks) after finding smoke-free relief in our car.  Mind you, I don't frequent Fremont Street all that often, but with guests in town. . . I suppose it's a right of passage . . . one we all agreed could easily be forgotten.

-The ultrasound tech seems to think we are having a girl.  We should get the confirmation today at our 19 week anatomy scan.  This may sound bad, but I get horrible anxiety right before our ultrasounds.  I fear the worst  e v e r y time and things are usually just fine.

-I've been having the worst dreams about baby.  Usually the dreams end up with me having no baby in the end.  Odd, super odd dreams.  I guess a bout of infertility will burn those types of fears into your subconscious.  No fun.

-My boobs are huge.  I don't know why they decided to show up, but they are here.  Yikes!

On being 30:

-Steven reminded me over and over that I can never go back to my twenties.  They are done and over with.  That chapter has ended.  He made me feel like a part of me was dying.  I then reminded him that he is with a woman in her thirties, and I wanted to know what that felt like to someone in their twenties.     Personally, I wouldn't know.

-So far, I believe that my thirties might just be the greatest decade.  I hope to look back at this time in my life as a concrete time frame as to when we were able to start our own little family.  Nothing to prove - just to ourselves, moving at our own pace, and watching our little people grow . . . causing us to grow as well.  It will be a lot of hard work, sure . . . but probably the most fulfilling thing to boot.

11 Weeks and Some Heartache

Technically, I'm behind and should be posting about my 12 week milestone that I hit this past Thursday.  11 weeks came and went with some heartache.  From the beginning, I promised that this blog would be honest and real, which means that at times it might not come with the best news.  At our last ultrasound, I found out that 'Baby B' stopped growing around weeks 8 and 9, known as 'vanishing twin syndrome'.  It was a shock.  Baby B has always been smaller, but had a strong heartbeat at the very first ultrasound.  I will never forget those words of, "I'm sorry, the second one didn't make it".  Truth is, even before the tech said anything, I knew that both sacs looked completely different.  Sure, I was overwhelmed at the idea of caring for two newborns at the same time, but never to the point of wishing that I only carried one.  After some dreaded phone calls to Steven and my parents that Baby B didn't make it,  I realized that this has been such a fragile process.  Life is precious.  Every life on this Earth is a miracle. 

With that said,  the next few days were spent mourning "what-could(should?)-have-been", and the last week has been spent worrying over Baby A.  Our little one who continues to grow is strong and healthy, but it doesn't help me from worrying that this one will be taken away too.  I'll be honest when I say, "it's hard to allow myself excitement over this impending arrival".  It's scary.  I realize that life is precious and a gift, but how much more do I really need to learn?  Our journey to parenthood has been  the most testing experiences of faith, in my almost-30 years.  Thoughts and prayers would most graciously be accepted. 

I'm trying to stay as positive as the circumstances allow.  I'm in good hands with my doctor.  He wants to monitor me every couple weeks, which means more glances at baby . . . can't complain!  I know every parent thinks that their child is the most gorgeous thing on the face of the Earth, but when I saw ours in human-looking form, I about died!  That nose and those lips!  Heavenly.

10 Weeks

I kinda feel like 10 weeks is one of those mile markers in pregnancy . . .you're a quarter of the way done and starting to really show.  I kinda just look like I've eaten too much, which in all fairness, I have.  You know what?  I don't care.  I'm reveling in it!  I'm enjoying the fact that if I feel like 3 Fruit Roll Ups in a row, I'll have just that. 

-So, with that said . . . I've gained 8lbs.

-I crave caesar dressing on veggies - which is funny because I like my roughage, but now I  L O V E it.

-I started using Basq Stretch Mark Butter.  While in California this last weekend, I learned from a salesgirl in a maternity shop, that this one is the only 'clinically proven' stretch mark cream to prevent and cure.  Maybe I'm just gullible, but with a party in there . . . I'll do what I can.

-I went to work today (first day of the school year, yay!) with ALL of my anti-nausea meds in tow. Heaven forbid, I get stuck at school for the next week and a half . . .  really it's just to ease my neurosis.  

-My body aches and I am beyond tired, however, I managed to make dinner this evening -  I tell you . . . I'll do anything for food these days.

I have many other symptoms of pregnancy that are not lady-like enough to mention, nor do you really even care to hear.  So, I'll just leave it at that.  Cheers to 10 weeks!

Last Weekend of Summer Break in Southern CA

Monday evening, we got home from our 'final summer hurrah'. . . we went down to Thousand Oaks for my grandparents' 60th wedding anniversary celebration.  It seems like just a short 10 years ago, I was an unmarried almost-20-year-old, celebrating their 50th in Lake Tahoe with the whole family!  I can't believe how quickly times flies post high school.  I can only imagine that it'll keep going by faster. 

As always, we enjoyed ourselves!  We love southern California (I happen to love northern too!) and the fact that we can get a nice break from the heat - in just a short car ride away . . . We made it in 4 hours!

My Dad and Steven played grill masters most of our nights there.  I love that my grandparents put an outdoor kitchen in down by their pool.  It makes for great ambiance! 

Steven was able to golf . . . always his idea of a good vacation.

I took a 9 week baby bump photo in my grandparents' mauve bathroom.  Don't lie to me . . . with two babes in the oven, it's there!

Steven and I drove up the Pacific Coast Highway from Newport to Malibu Canyon after his sister's soccer tournament in Irvine.  We stopped for a quick bite to eat right outside of Huntington  Beach.  

**Note to the World - Not all of the PCH is created equal! **

Best part of the PCH in Southern California, is Malibu . . . It doesn't get much better than this!

We are grateful for a relaxing time spent with my family, in one of the coolest places possible - even if traffic sucks.  Steven is back to school today and I go back tomorrow.  We are most gracious for a very full and productive summer!

Two Little Reasons.

Sorry for the lack of posts.  At exactly 5.5 weeks,  I found myself feeling queasy in the middle of Lowes.  Forget our next stop to Costco - btw I never pass up a trip to Costco - morning sickness parked itself in my stomach and has not left.  Luckily, I have a genius of an OB/GYN who knows all of the latest MS remedies out there, and who has found a good little concoction that has allowed me to feel  like a semi-human again.  Two weeks of nausea WITH Zofran and Reglan wasn't cutting it, so we added Diclegis (basically Unisom and Vitamin B-6 in prescription form).

Okay, enough with the boring stuff and on with the exciting part . . .

We are having TWINS people!!!!!

We are feeling so lucky and so very blessed.  This is by far one of the most exciting times of our life and we couldn't ask for more . . . okay, maybe 2 healthy babies at the end of all of this, but so far so good!  Things are looking great.

Luckily, my husband has first-hand experience with twins.  He was 13 when his twin sisters were born and his mom has always said that she couldn't have done it without him.  I'm lucky to have that guy on my team.  He'll make a great dad, no doubt about it.

As of today, I am eight weeks along and feeling pretty okay!