You Think So, Huh?

You think that because you . . .

-Are measuring 19 weeks along (big) and receive A+ ultrasounds every other week and . . .

-Just turned 30 two weeks ago (Hello! New decade!) and . . .

-Had the best birthday surprise that any 30-year old girl could dream of by having her husband and best friend plan the sneakiest stay-cation (apparently was in the works since July - literally had no clue!) and  . . .

-Were 3 weeks behind on your missionary brother's blog . . .

                entitles you to not making updates on your own blog?!

'Tis true.  I've been really bad at blogging.  Not that I don't have anything to blog about . . . I just haven't been feeling it.  My creative juices just haven't been flowing.  I chalk it up to pregnancy brain, pregnancy lack of motivation, and too much Dawson's Creek (oops! I really just admitted that). . .

On pregnancy:

-Thank you, second trimester!  You are a beautiful thing!

-I started feeling baby move over my birthday weekend (16 weeks) after finding smoke-free relief in our car.  Mind you, I don't frequent Fremont Street all that often, but with guests in town. . . I suppose it's a right of passage . . . one we all agreed could easily be forgotten.

-The ultrasound tech seems to think we are having a girl.  We should get the confirmation today at our 19 week anatomy scan.  This may sound bad, but I get horrible anxiety right before our ultrasounds.  I fear the worst  e v e r y time and things are usually just fine.

-I've been having the worst dreams about baby.  Usually the dreams end up with me having no baby in the end.  Odd, super odd dreams.  I guess a bout of infertility will burn those types of fears into your subconscious.  No fun.

-My boobs are huge.  I don't know why they decided to show up, but they are here.  Yikes!

On being 30:

-Steven reminded me over and over that I can never go back to my twenties.  They are done and over with.  That chapter has ended.  He made me feel like a part of me was dying.  I then reminded him that he is with a woman in her thirties, and I wanted to know what that felt like to someone in their twenties.     Personally, I wouldn't know.

-So far, I believe that my thirties might just be the greatest decade.  I hope to look back at this time in my life as a concrete time frame as to when we were able to start our own little family.  Nothing to prove - just to ourselves, moving at our own pace, and watching our little people grow . . . causing us to grow as well.  It will be a lot of hard work, sure . . . but probably the most fulfilling thing to boot.

We Have a 5-Year Old

My dearest fury firstborn is five today.  I ask myself, "Where did the time go?!"  I know she's not your typical firstborn, but I do think that a lot of the same feelings of having any type of 5-year old would throw you into a frenzy.  5 year old child, 5 year old marriage, 5 year old ball of fur, 5 year old pair of shoes. . . You get the point.  It really makes one ponder the concept of time.  In all reality, it goes by WAY TOO FAST.

Dodson's Izzy Bear (according to her AKC registration papers)-

Thank you for being the sweetest pup known to mankind!  You truly have brought so much joy to our lives.  You may just be a canine friend, but you have taught us many things that parents of human children need to know.  Unconditional love (your willingness to snuggle is endless), patience (especially in the beginning! yikes!), the need for peace in our home (otherwise you run up the stairs and hide from all of the nonsense), and compassion (thank you for all of the times that you allowed me to cry in your coat).  You are a tiny glimpse of what it's like to be godlike.  We love you!

-Your Mom & Dad

PS-  This year we will celebrate with homemade treats (I actually have a dog bone cookie cutter) and homemade frosty paws.  I will try and do a lot more of this for you, Cherro Perro.  After all, you only have 3 more years. . . teases your dad.  Little does he know, you will be one of those rare cases that lives to be 17!

A Birthday and a Treat

December 5th's festivities focused on Steven's birthday rather than the holidays.  I'm a little sad that his birthday falls in December . . .

1.  Boys are hard to shop for.

2.  Gifts and surprises need to be split up throughout the year.

Mr. D finally caught up to me age-wise!  And he made it know that it was a great birthday indeed, so I'm pretty happy with that. 

Originally, I did not know how I would feel about this ice cream.  I like peppermint in small doses, usually with lots and lots of chocolate.  However, I went with the seasonal option.  I'm glad I did!  It's so creamy and it's only 100 calories per 1/2 cup . . . very little guilt there!  BUT I really wanted this to be even better . . .a brownie possibly?  So, in lieu of Steven's birthday, his mom made brownies and I took one home to eat with my Peppermint Ice Cream.  Just what I've been craving and oh so perfect!

A VERY Happy 29th Birthday to my sweet huz!

Christmas Card Keepsakes

This evening, I was in the mood to wrap, trim, and tie ribbons because tomorrow is Steven's birthday!  He's finally catching up to me.  Don't worry, he's made these last two months well-known that I'm older!

Tonight's project came from an idea I found a while back on Pinterest (of course!).  I can't part with Christmas card photos, because I love to see how much our friends and family have changed over the years.  I needed something to keep the cards organized and out for viewing.

And this is what came to be!

Materials needed:

1" Book Rings

Hole Punch

Scissors

Various pieces of ribbon of different sizes and textures (depending on what you like)

Perfect for a coffee table or for keeping under the tree!

Mom's Birthday Weekend in Vegas!

I need to play catch-up!  We have had a busy two weeks, with lots to talk about. . . 

Last Thursday, my parents got into town for my mom's birthday weekend.  Despite my bout with the stomach flu, we were able to celebrate our hearts out! 

Some of the weekend's events included:

-KA Cirque du Soleil - Friday night

-My Mom's favorite chocolate cake

-Two golf dates for the boys

-One hike up Lone Mountain (my Dad, Steven, Bear)

-Jazz and Dinner out at Lake Las Vegas

-Lots and lots of good conversation with my Mom (as always!)

And my family got some really great news, that deserves its very own post . . .

29.

I'm 29 today.  I can't believe it.

 Is this really my last birthday in my 20s?  Next year might be a bit rough; although a man in Bagel Cafe made me it known to me that life begins at 30 (he overheard me having a conversation with a friend).  That actually might be true . . . 30 could mean parenthood for us and that would be the beginning of a whole new adventure.

Naturally, I took the day off today.

This is what I have planned:

Movie - The Odd Life of Timothy Green seems suiting and looks charming (I have a coupon for a free ticket on my birthday . . . I'm going by myself and I'm okay with that.  Has anyone else ever seen a movie by themselves? I've never done it!)

Shopping - Have to use all of those birthday discounts!

Dinner - Grimaldi's free birthday pizza!

Treats - I'm going to eat my heart out with pastries and cupcakes because today is a day where I can.

Here's hoping that this is, in fact, My Best Year Yet.

Punched In The Gut

I'm going to type this while the feelings are still raw. . . 

Remember when I told you that the hardest times with our fertility ordeal occur when people say things not knowing that they are hurting you, but are hurting you; the type of hurt that hits you to the core?  It's really not their fault...it's not like you're wearing a badge that says "Hi, I'm Stephanie and I'm infertile".

Here's the story:

We went out to eat for my sister-in-law's birthday.  Remember the one who is pregnant that I had a huge freak out over?  I know, I still owe you that story.  She's pregnant and while I am happy for her now, it is still hard in itself.

So, while were were enjoying her birthday celebration at Grimaldi's (delicious by the way!) a bunch of ladies from my mother-in-law's ward came over to our table and started oohing and ahhing over the fact that my sister-in-law is having a girl (yay! good for them, seriously)...honestly, hard for me to be around though.

Then...Here it is!!!

One of the ladies, car seat in tow (does that really surprise you? They're Mormon) - who knows my husband; bless her heart...she doesn't know our situation at all, says,  "So, wait?" "Are you guys expecting too?"  "Your mom got up in sacrament and expressed how grateful she is for two grandbabies on the way"  Punch me in the gut at this point.  Steven said, and I can tell that he felt like this was the worst thing that anyone could say right now, due to my feeble state;

"No, that's not us."

*His mom's husband's son and daughter-in-law are expecting; that's who she was talking about.

I had to get up and excuse myself.  I locked myself in the bathroom for a breather.  It's hard, those are the times where I feel like I have been kicked down.

I came back out, but just felt so out of it.  To be honest, I don't really know how the rest of the evening went.

As we were leaving, though, Steven told me that I handled it well.  I don't know if I did or not.  It's hard to tell.

I called my dad, to ask him about a B12 deficiency...but then I just spilled the whole story of what had just happened.  He gave me some good advice....

"Children who are hard to come by, are usually the most well-adjusted and are so much more appreciated by their parents."  "It's true Stephanie, I know this."

And I believe him.  It doesn't mean that my friends and family who have them so easily, are not good parents.  Please!  I have so many good examples of family and friends who ADORE their children!  It is manifested all over Facebook (and I mean this as a good thing; I truly love seeing it!)

It could be something that Steven and I have to go through so that we are crazy in love with what we have! Tantrums, sleep deprivation, and all!

Hurting and still waiting...