Service Auction Social

Last Fall, I was called to be in the Relief Society Activities Committee/Service Representative for the Ward.  Which is basically awesome, because I get to help plan the social events.  If you know me . . . I love me some social time!  At the beginning of the year, we mapped out what activities we would be doing throughout the year and who would be officiating based on their duties.  Since I am the "Service Representative" for the Ward, I wanted to do something really fun that stirred up excitement over service.  Let's be honest, sometimes service projects are the last thing on our list of 'to-dos'.  So, thanks to my trusty sources (Pinterest), I found an awesome blogpost on throwing a 'Service Auction' and by golly! . . . it looked amazingly FUN!  Blog post found here.  I tweaked some things to accommodate our ward/budget/time-frame, but this was a fabulous source.

Our set up . . . we had a sign-in table, future acts of service/baked goods/handmade goodies table with bidding bags behind the items, and a survey-on-clipboards table.  Our auction was a "silent auction". . . with our time-frame we figured that this was the best option.  Oh, and I should mention the fabulous girls on our committee . . . oh! I could not have done it without our RS women!!

This activity really allowed for us to see the talents and energies of the women in our Ward.  I'm still in awe.  There was much laughter and a whole lot of friendly competition!  Michelle's (remember Michelle?!) 'made-to-order Bouchon cake' was a hot ticket item as well as the gluten-free brownies I brought for all of our gluten-intolerant women . . . one of our sister missionaries included.  Kinda fun watching them battle it out.  I scored some wonderful homemade bath salts and scrubs as well as some much-needed dog-walking for Bear.

We threw in a birthday cake for the treat, because March is the Relief Society's official birthday month.  Happy 171st Birthday, Relief Society . . . you've come a long way after all these years!

Such a great activity and so much fun! If they keep me in there, we'll do it again . . . hopefully bigger next time!

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Remember how I said that one of my goals for the year was to do more service?  So far, feeling pretty good on this one although, there is always room for more growth.  I said it during my closing words at the activity, but I cannot even express the joy felt when doing something for others.  It's helped me grow as an individual and has been a huge blessing in my life.

Lapse in Time

This evening's text from 'L'Autre Steph' (French for "the other Stephanie - my mom's nickname for my best friend): 

"Why aren't you blogging anymore?"

Ugh, Yes. True. Sorry.

Which excuse did you want?  1. I've been busy with Relief Society activities.  2. My family came into town for Spring Break 2013 . . . holla! or  3. I have been blogging, just not on this blog per se - ElderHoldenNorway.blogspot.com is as up-to-date as possible . . . give me at least some credit there, puh-lease!  Speaking of, I freaking miss that kid . . . like a lot, but being his 'Blog Administrator', I kinda feel like he is not so far away.

However, I do, solemnly swear, that I will update you all on what we've been up to in these parts.  You can look forward to:

-The Relief Society Activity that I planned and executed successfully, with the help of some super ladies!

-Spring Break 2013 with the fam dam (uh, literally!)

-Home Improvements

-My somewhat green thumb - exciting stuff, I tell you!

-Our 'Baby Making' Plans - get your minds outta the gutter . . . it's strictly lab work.  Ha!

In the meantime, here are a couple pictures for you all to enjoy, because that's what blogs are really all about.  Am I right, or am I right?!

Spring Break 2012 - Me, Christopher, and Shane at Spring Mountain Ranch up Red Rock Canyon.  Geez, I miss that Pooker!

Spring Break 2013 - (L-R) Shane, my mom, Me, Steven, my dad at The Hoover Dam

On Being Godparents

I have been waiting for the right moment to post this and I finally feel like that time is now.  Last Wednesday, the day before her scheduled C-Section; I received a call from my dear cousin, Ange (she's the closest relative that I have to a younger sister).  I was all excited because it was the day before baby girl's big debut and I hadn't spoken to Ange in a while.  After a couple of minutes of catching up, she proceeded to tell me that she and her husband had discussed, and wanted to know if Steven and I would be willing to accept the role of their daughter's Godparents.  My heart stopped.  In a good way!  It was the biggest surprise and also the best!  I said, "But we're not Lutheran!  Is that okay?!" She confirmed that it was just fine; that it is a role of guiding her throughout her life, spiritually.  We accepted most graciously.

At a time where I feel like maybe there is a reason that we aren't able to have children of our own, my sweet cousin (heart of gold, no joke) and her dear husband asked us if we would be Godparents to their brand new baby girl.  She assured me that we are the best candidates.  My heart has been so full.  I can see that Steven feels the same way.  What a huge honor and blessing!  I have shed many tears of gratitude and have felt completely humbled at this opportunity.

As mentioned above, Ange has a heart of gold and with a husband with a very similar personality as my Steven, I feel so lucky that we have an extra reason to be in their lives.  We will do our very best to assure her of the love that we have for her, remind her of all that she has been blessed with, and to let her know that she is in fact; a daughter of God.  Welcome to the world, Tenley Marie.  You are perfection.

Saying Our Goodbyes

This weekend was a whirlwind.  Saturday morning, I made the drive up to Utah (solo) to say my final "goodbyes" to my youngest brother, Christopher.  Kinda boring driving by yourself . . . but thanks to The Killers and Imagine Dragons on replay, my drive was rather pleasant.  

My weekend was full of friend visits (many of which I did not get to see but look forward to seeing again, soon!) and quality family time with my parents, brother, and family friends; the Ellsworths (basically family and always a good time).  We left behind some really really great people in Utah, so it's always a treat to go back and visit.

Christopher is my first brother to go on a mission, and so it was such a cool feeling being able to experience this weekend's festivities.  It's pretty surreal!  I love him and I know that he will do great things for the people of Norway.

  

Of course we had to take our token MTC farewell photos.  It's kind of a right of passage . . . wouldn't you say?

It's times like these, where I think about where I fit in my family and the role that I get to play.  I am so grateful to be the oldest and the only sister among three brothers.  I feel very protective of each of them and am grateful that I get to be there to support them in all that they do.  I am blessed and grateful for the relationships that I have with them. 

I love you, Christopher James!

Farewell Elder CJ Holden!

 Last fall, I had mentioned that my immediate Holden family had some very BIG news!  Most of you know via Facebook and Instagram that my youngest brother, Christopher, will be serving a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  He will be serving in the Oslo, Norway mission where he will be speaking Norwegian! So cool!

Back in October, when my parents were here for my Mom's birthday weekend, we were able to Skype with my brother as he opened his call.  Lots of tears of joy were shed because we have a long line of Norwegian ancestry.  As my dad put it, "You get to go back home!"

Now, I realize that I probably should have formally announced this awhile ago because it has been an exciting process the whole way through, but I wanted to post about it when the time was right.  Since I am about to embark on my journey (solo - wish me luck!), up to Utah for my final farewells before he enters the Provo MTC; I have so many mixed emotions - many of which are pure peace and joy.  I know he will do great things!

Christopher is the type of guy who - when he sets goals for himself, he achieves them . . . almost effortlessly.  He is kind, supportive, easy to be around.  He is one of the good ones.

At 22 years old (older than most departing missionaries), I am confident that he will be great!  He achieved his college degree and knows that this is the next step that he needs to take in order to become the kind of person that he wants to be.  As the oldest and his only sister, I am beyond proud.

Last night (back in Rockford), after my brother was set-apart as a missionary (he's official!), my family and some friends got together for a final send-off.  Christopher won't get to see our sweet little niece for two years. She will be so big by the time he gets back! And maybe, just maybe . . . . he will have a new niece or nephew to add to the clan!

I want him to have a keepsake of the photos, letters, and memories that he collects over the next two years . . . so I started a Smash Book for him!  I tried to go with the most masculine one there was to be found.  I love the idea of being able to collect all of your little treasures along the way, and figured that this was the best way to go about it.

If you'd like to read weekly updates from Elder Holden's mission, he and I have started a blog about his experiences:

ElderHoldenNorway.blogspot.com

Treat Bags, Photos & Our Christmas Cards

We started to get our act together around here Sunday afternoon . . .

I made this Peppermint Crunch Puppy Chow as gifts for the women that I visit teach.  They were a warm up for the big holiday baking day that I have planned for next week!  You better believe that I'm going to have an evening dedicated to Christmas treats!

We also took some pictures for our Christmas card.  Isn't this pup a gem? The red bow just kills me!  

I'm a little excited to get my printed cards back.  This year I ordered from Invitation Box . . . I snagged a good deal on Groupon and am anticipating their arrival!  I'm hoping to send them out SOON!

BTW . . . I LOVE this time of year due to all of the Christmas cards received.  I've enjoyed every single one . . keep them coming!

I Can Finally Breathe

At last, I can say that the Ward Christmas Party is over and that I am now able to focus on the holidays for our own family.  It took up A LOT of time.  I think my neighbor/committee's coordinator/friend Michelle can say the same!  I heard it went well, unfortunately I have been taking a technology course on Saturday mornings and because it was a breakfast ('A Cozy Christmas Morning' - to be exact) . . . I missed out.

Friday night:  I did, in fact, focus on holiday cheer by finishing up last minute breakfast dish RSVPs and finished cutting and tying yarn on Christmas ornaments for the kids.  Dang! I really wish that I had seen how everything turned out!

Saturday:  Steven and I composed our Christmas list for family and friends.  Thank goodness for Target and Amazon.  My family's gifts will be shipped directly to my parents' house and then I get the task of wrapping presents Christmas Eve . . . sure beats extra luggage!

*************

Last night, Steven, Megan, Austin, and I headed down to Metro Pizza  close to UNLV's campus.  It's pizza heaven.  Best I've had in this town. . . hands down!

Pizza Joy!

I needed to end the night by doing something festive and because Austin's house is a yard full of holiday wonder . . . we had to check out the Christmas collection!

As you can see, it did not disappoint!

West Coast Christmas

I had visions of non-stop creativity and holiday bliss.  In a sense it's true, but not exactly what I had envisioned. 

Maybe it's still too early?  Maybe ward Christmas parties take up a lot of time (I mean it in a good way!)?  Perhaps real life gets in the way (ie. work, weekend class, errands, laundry, dishes)?  Or perhaps the holiday cheer will kick into high gear once my little brother gets here this weekend, school gets out, and we head off to Illinois?  We're excited for the later!

Life has been busy but it's also been good to us.

As promised, I am staying true to my countdown to Christmas . . .

I love Brooke White.  I loved her years ago on American Idol . . .I thought she was like sunshine . . . so cheerful and nice and carefree.  Her song "California Christmas" is FREE on iTunes  right now!  Living in Las Vegas, I can relate to this song --minus the sand and the beach.

It's catchy and I've been listening to it over and over again, today.

Go download it!

Punched In The Gut

I'm going to type this while the feelings are still raw. . . 

Remember when I told you that the hardest times with our fertility ordeal occur when people say things not knowing that they are hurting you, but are hurting you; the type of hurt that hits you to the core?  It's really not their fault...it's not like you're wearing a badge that says "Hi, I'm Stephanie and I'm infertile".

Here's the story:

We went out to eat for my sister-in-law's birthday.  Remember the one who is pregnant that I had a huge freak out over?  I know, I still owe you that story.  She's pregnant and while I am happy for her now, it is still hard in itself.

So, while were were enjoying her birthday celebration at Grimaldi's (delicious by the way!) a bunch of ladies from my mother-in-law's ward came over to our table and started oohing and ahhing over the fact that my sister-in-law is having a girl (yay! good for them, seriously)...honestly, hard for me to be around though.

Then...Here it is!!!

One of the ladies, car seat in tow (does that really surprise you? They're Mormon) - who knows my husband; bless her heart...she doesn't know our situation at all, says,  "So, wait?" "Are you guys expecting too?"  "Your mom got up in sacrament and expressed how grateful she is for two grandbabies on the way"  Punch me in the gut at this point.  Steven said, and I can tell that he felt like this was the worst thing that anyone could say right now, due to my feeble state;

"No, that's not us."

*His mom's husband's son and daughter-in-law are expecting; that's who she was talking about.

I had to get up and excuse myself.  I locked myself in the bathroom for a breather.  It's hard, those are the times where I feel like I have been kicked down.

I came back out, but just felt so out of it.  To be honest, I don't really know how the rest of the evening went.

As we were leaving, though, Steven told me that I handled it well.  I don't know if I did or not.  It's hard to tell.

I called my dad, to ask him about a B12 deficiency...but then I just spilled the whole story of what had just happened.  He gave me some good advice....

"Children who are hard to come by, are usually the most well-adjusted and are so much more appreciated by their parents."  "It's true Stephanie, I know this."

And I believe him.  It doesn't mean that my friends and family who have them so easily, are not good parents.  Please!  I have so many good examples of family and friends who ADORE their children!  It is manifested all over Facebook (and I mean this as a good thing; I truly love seeing it!)

It could be something that Steven and I have to go through so that we are crazy in love with what we have! Tantrums, sleep deprivation, and all!

Hurting and still waiting...

Blessing The Babe And Other Child-Friendly Functions

This Sunday morning, we were invited to our dear friends' ward; for baby Holden's blessing.  Yep, his name is Holden, as in, my maiden name.  Not after me...more like Holden Caulfield from Catcher in the Rye; I can pretend that it was done as a form of flattery!  

Bobby and Steven go back to their high school days, and from what I hear; the were hellians.  Not terrible...just things that would make any teacher go into early retirement!  

And. . . I lucked out when Bobby married Courtney!  I love that woman. . . .she is smart, strong, funny, and many many other great things.  She has also taken on motherhood to that little man, quite gracefully.

For selfish reasons, I'm glad that they are back in Vegas!

Is it hard being around all of our friends and their babies/toddlers/children?

Absolutely not!

What does hurt is when you feel like it should be your time and things don't go as wanted or planned.  It's painful, when those around you assume that you are handling it well, and then say things that remind you of your crappy situation.  Kind of like the 'salt-in-the-wound' phenomenon.

**The best, though, is the stranger (claims to be a long-lost family friend) who you've just met and he's probably around your dad's age. . .he asks you why you don't have kids after (gasp!) almost seven years, and then proceeds to give you vulgar; but in his mind...'sound advice'.  Thank you, Dr. Crackhead (I'm not kidding when I say that).


Okay back from my rant, because really this was meant to be good!

As I was sitting in church today, watching them bless this sweet little baby; all I could think about was progression.  Our friends are progressing, not just them, but anyone who decides to take the next step in life; and start a family.

Could I ever expect anyone to stop and wait for us because we aren't at a point where we can?  No, that would be ridiculous!

I am happy!  I am happy for our friends (and all our friends and family), who are taking on the challenge of bringing new little people into this world; to rear them in the right direction and to learn to love unconditionally.  I have some really great examples around me.  It's a very unselfish stage in life and I really look forward to it!

Lessons Learned On A Sunday Afternoon

We got these cute little magnets at church today.  It's pretty, insightful, and has found it's place on my fridge.

Great lesson on a great talk.  I (and everyone else for that matter) need to be reminded of this!

They all mean something to me because I fall short in recognizing/practicing all of them, but I was really struck with #1 and #3 with our whole fertility ordeal.  I think it's normal to feel impatient with yourself, with your loved ones, and maybe everyone else around you when faced with infertility.  And finally, I need to remember to be happy with the here and now and not think "I'll be happy when..." scenario, because every stage in life has it's beauty.

It's amazing how you can "plug-in" the things that you are going through, with the lessons taught in church and come out feeling much better about them.  I honestly don't know what I would do without a faith-based perspective!

Reflections After Surgery

I wrote a brief post, back in January, on our little lifestyle blog to let friends and family know that I had just been through surgery.  Remember, I told you that I was pretty vague about what type of surgery it entailed?  I thought I would share my thoughts just right after surgery:  

 I'm back in Vegas after a quick 4 1/2 day visit back to Rockford, Il where I had surgery. . .yes surgery. Not a fun reason to go back to see your family, but was good nonetheless! I won't bore you all with the details, but if you are interested in whether it was life-threatening. . . it was not. . .but had to be done. Let's just say that, ironically, I was a patient in my Dad's field of medicine.

My Dad felt that I would get the best answers, method of surgery, before/during/after (mom and huz) care, and least amount of recovery time if I made the trip back to the good ol' midwest. So I did, and I am now on the mend!

Some things that I learned/were confirmed to me from all of this:

1. Rockford, IL has GREAT physicians - I may be a bit biased but it's true. In fact, I'm quite discouraged with the doctors here in town and am on the hunt for a new one. I am open to suggestions, as I have only lived here for a little over a year. Dr. Lenox was thorough and overall brilliant. I will forever be grateful to him. I think he and my Dad have a good plan in place proceeding this surgery.

2. I have the best family and friends - My close friends and family have been very supportive of me during all of this. It was so nice to receive the texts, calls, posts, tlc, and gifts. It's always good to have a good support group when you are going through the down times.

3. I love being around my family - No matter how old you are, you will always be your parents' little girl. At the ripe age of 28, I think this still holds true. My family is so fun to be around. . .I love them more than anything in this world and am glad that my husband fits in so well! I can't wait to be an aunt in the next few months! It's always hard to leave my family, but I look forward to seeing them on many occasions in the next year :)

4. I have the BEST husband - I know. . gag me on a blog post about how wonderful my husband is, but he really is the best! There is nothing better than waking up from surgery and being surrounded by your husband and parents with big smiles on their faces as if you've just conquered something big. My husband didn't have to be there, but he was and he took great care of me after. He is always so supportive and takes great concern over things that are important to me. He also might be the cutest nurse out there ;)

5. Pain Killers are overrated - I will admit that I was excited to be in "La La" Land for a few days post surgery but was hugely disappointed. You still feel the pain while on them, they make you drowsy in a weird way, and have horrible side effects - ie. constant itching all over for no reason at all. (Sorry Mr. on the plane-who probably thought I had some freaky disease)

6. I have the BEST Dad - He is pretty brilliant and I am grateful that I have access to his wisdom so closely. Right before the surgery he gave me a blessing that all would be well. A dad that can give physical aid as well as spiritual aid. . .How lucky does one get?! I truly feel like from here on out, everything will be okay and that I will get to have children of my own.

It Dawned On Me...

A certain thought recently came to mind. . . Actually, a lot of thoughts have been going through my mind for quite some time.  It dawned on me that I should probably journal about what I have been feeling and what I have been experiencing.  Something that I could show my future children...to let them know that they were VERY MUCH wanted; to someday remind myself that they were VERY MUCH wanted. . .when I felt like I was reliving my mom's stressful mothering moments with us.  I suppose this is the result!

Our Engagement Photo - 2005

Steven and I were married on November 19, 2005 in the Mount Timpanogos LDS Temple.  We are LDS or more commonly known as Mormon.  "Don't Mormons have a million kids?", you ask.  Maybe it's our sense of not wanting to fall under stereotypes; but we were young (barely 22 and almost 22) and so we made the conscious decision to finish school (are you really ever done?!), have fun, save money, and WAIT to have kids.

Wedding Day - November 19, 2005

The August before our five-year mark was when we decided that if it happened, it happened.  Fast forward to February of the following year and still, nothing.  I always had this feeling that it wouldn't be easy for us...me....more like it.  I had never had regular cycles and so with my prior knowledge and fears (due to my knowledge), I felt like it would not be an easy task.  I made an appointment with an OB/GYN here in town to discuss my options.  My doctor determined that I probably had ovulation issues and put me on 6 months of Clomid, with no prior testing or monitoring.  Bad news.  I should have seen the red flag, when my dad told me that doctors should never just hand out a prescription without any prior testing.

**The bad thing about having a father as a physician is that you tend to not take their word too seriously. You either feel like they are just brushing it off or are being way too dramatic over your symptoms.  Either way, you as the afflicted, are usually wrong!**

Fast forward to December 2011.  After six months of Clomid and nothing but discouragement and pains on my left ovarian side, I called my dad a little worried.  He told me to get into my OB/GYN as soon as possible.  I got in right away and my doctor felt around my abdomen and noticed that it was enlarged.  He determined that I probably had uterine fibroids and ordered a pelvic ultrasound.  That time in between my doctor's appointment and the results of my ultrasound felt like forever!  The results came back and revealed that I had a 10cm (about the size of a softball - yikes!) cyst somewhere between my ovaries.

My dad warned me of 2 things:

1.  This will not go away on it's own and needs to be surgically removed, very soon.

2.  If the doctor mentions anything other than laparoscopic surgery, you are coming home (Illinois) for the surgery.

Well, sure enough, the doctor mentioned that it could (yeah, right) go away on it's own and that the only method would be to cut me open, much like a c-section, and remove the cyst.  Recovery time would be anywhere from around 4-6 weeks.

No, thank you.  I flew home the following week. . . 

I went in for surgery on January 26, 2012 and came out with one less endometrioma, one less fallopian tube on my left side, and a prescription for 6 months of Lupron Depot (the Devil's drug...not really, but kind of - I have since, quit this drug).  It shocked me that this could be a possibility, but apparently the tube was 4 times it's normal size.  My surgical photos make it look like a bowel intestine and not a thin-like tube like the right side.

My surgery also revealed that I have Stage 3 Endometriosis and possible Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome.  That explained all those years of horrid cramps during my period!

The doctor who put me on Clomid, and then wrote my situation off as unimportant? I got rid of him.

I found a new doctor, who I love. . . Dr. Keith Brill knows his stuff, is attentive, and sent me in for further testing.  A hysterosalpingogram (HSG) test performed in April, confirmed that my other tube was patent (clear) and I finally felt like I had achieved a small victory!   

That's how we got where we are today.  Tomorrow we go in to The Fertility Center of Las Vegas to get our blood drawn for, yet again, more testing.