A Very Happy Mother's Day Weekend, Indeed.

It happened, Friday morning.  The very last and final of my fertility tests, my sonohysterogram.  As the sonographer searched through my file for notes regarding further testing, I jumped up and felt like screaming, "It's been a fun ride, but . . PEACE OUT!"  My face says it all . . .

It was necessary that my joy be documented.  My uterus is clear.  As the sonographer put it, "Your uterus shows no signs of interference for implantation."  Hooray for a good baby maker! In all seriousness, though, I've had this fear that if any medical professional was given the opportunity to peek inside my uterus, I'd be a lost cause.  On the contrary, there is NOTHING!  As planned, zero surgery. . . yay! . . we will proceed with IVF next month.  I'm beyond giddy!  It feels like Christmas/the end of the school year/we're going on a fabulous vacation - all bundled up into one package and then multiplied by ten.

Yes, it's another Mother's Day sans enfant, but I received some really excellent news; and I could not be more grateful.  I'm thankful for the tender mercies.  They are real and they are there.  At the very beginning of this roller-coaster-ride-of-a-trial, I was devastated and I was bitter.  Shamefully, I have to say that I've never really had anything not go my way, and so it was a hard pill to swallow.  I totally get it now.  It's hard to explain, but a lot of things needed to change and I think that this trial was what it took for it to all happen.  Trust me, I have a l-o-n-n-g-g-g way to go (don't we all, though?), but I think I'm a better and stronger person than I was a year ago.  I believe Steven could attest to it all.  We've come a long way together, he and I . . . I love that guy and all that he does for us.

Speaking of roller coaster rides, Steven and I were 2 of 4 chaperones to take 45 of his 8th graders to Magic Mountain.  Let me tell you, "It was fabulous!" 22 hours - there and back . . . the kids were super cool and my husband sure seems to have found his path.  It's sure good to see Mr. D in his element.

I am praying that my 'roller coaster pics' don't go viral.  They are, in fact, that bad.  Let's just say, that the teenager behind the counter, knew exactly where our pictures were.  Yikes!

New Year, New Ambitions.

I realize that the new year began a week and a day ago, but I wanted to post about our Christmas with my family; and I also wanted to truly ponder my wishes for the new year.

I have been composing a list for the past couple of weeks and this is what I came up with . . .

1. Complete IVF with Success  - Big surprise that this is my #1, right?!  It still breaks my heart that this is our path to parenthood, but I am working through it being a despair.  My wise and very kind counselor told me that it's a grieving process that requires to take time and heal.  She's right, and it's becoming much easier as life goes on.

2.  Get Organized - You know how we all pin our little hearts out with the best of intentions?  I do.  In fact, I have a board labeled "Organize My Life".  This year, I'm really doing it.  I'm not just saying that, because I've actually started.  PS - The garage looks daunting.

3.  Do More, Worry Less - This one falls under the organize category.  Confession:  I have OCD.  Not like, "Oh, hahaha, that was so OCD of me".  Like literally . . . I worry so much about perfection that I often procrastinate.  I get so overwhelmed and I don't end up accomplishing what I'd like to finish.  My powder room is a prime example. . .

4.  Create - I find myself happiest when I am creating.  Whether it be in the kitchen, crafting, writing; I am at my happiest . . . and who doesn't want to be happy?

5.  Serve - My church calling allows me to encourage service in our ward, but has also helped me to consciously think about serving others on my own.  I find myself focusing on the needs of others and not so much about qualms or issues that I may have.  The act of serving others, brings to mind, my favorite line in Les Miserables:

"To love another is to see the face of God"

Couldn't we all use a better relationship with God?  I would like to make it a personal goal to find more opportunities to serve.

6.  Read.  In French. - I am in desperate need of honing my French speaking skills.  What better way, then to read in the language?  Novels that were purchased during last year's trip to France are staring me in the face.

As you all know, we our hoping (and praying!) that this will be 'our year'.

So, cheers to 2013! May it bring to us all - health (maybe wealth, too?!!) and happiness!

Christmas Break 2012

Our 'Winter Break' has come to an end . . . back to work/school tomorrow.  I could really use another week, which is probably due to the fact I've been moving at a snail's pace over these last two weeks.  I would feel guilty, but I think it was well deserved!

Holden Family Holiday Adventures:

-1 Buche de Noel - marzipan details included - courtesy of myself, my mom, and brother
-1 completed puzzle of scenic Norway
-Numerous nights spent by a roaring fire
-A couple trips to Stockholm Inn for Swedish pancakes and the like . . .
-A much needed visit with one of my best friends and her cute family!
-2 movies that were both fantastic but very different from one another - Les Miserables & This is 40
-French nursery rhymes on repeat with Baby Elise - ahh les crocrocro! might just be stuck in my head until next year. . .
-Hours and hours of frustration over Ticket to Ride  wink, wink!

-Lots of quality family time - doesn't get any better than that!

Homemade Hot Chocolate and Some 'Elf'

Sorry for the delay in posts!  We were having too much fun with my little brother in town!

Friday night particularly stands out, because we enjoyed homemade hot chocolate, a little Sequence, and our premier viewing (this season) of 'Elf'.  

Always a good laugh!

**I would omit the vanilla extract next time . . . definitely add whipped cream and a candy cane for extra goodness!**

Treat Bags, Photos & Our Christmas Cards

We started to get our act together around here Sunday afternoon . . .

I made this Peppermint Crunch Puppy Chow as gifts for the women that I visit teach.  They were a warm up for the big holiday baking day that I have planned for next week!  You better believe that I'm going to have an evening dedicated to Christmas treats!

We also took some pictures for our Christmas card.  Isn't this pup a gem? The red bow just kills me!  

I'm a little excited to get my printed cards back.  This year I ordered from Invitation Box . . . I snagged a good deal on Groupon and am anticipating their arrival!  I'm hoping to send them out SOON!

BTW . . . I LOVE this time of year due to all of the Christmas cards received.  I've enjoyed every single one . . keep them coming!

I Can Finally Breathe

At last, I can say that the Ward Christmas Party is over and that I am now able to focus on the holidays for our own family.  It took up A LOT of time.  I think my neighbor/committee's coordinator/friend Michelle can say the same!  I heard it went well, unfortunately I have been taking a technology course on Saturday mornings and because it was a breakfast ('A Cozy Christmas Morning' - to be exact) . . . I missed out.

Friday night:  I did, in fact, focus on holiday cheer by finishing up last minute breakfast dish RSVPs and finished cutting and tying yarn on Christmas ornaments for the kids.  Dang! I really wish that I had seen how everything turned out!

Saturday:  Steven and I composed our Christmas list for family and friends.  Thank goodness for Target and Amazon.  My family's gifts will be shipped directly to my parents' house and then I get the task of wrapping presents Christmas Eve . . . sure beats extra luggage!

*************

Last night, Steven, Megan, Austin, and I headed down to Metro Pizza  close to UNLV's campus.  It's pizza heaven.  Best I've had in this town. . . hands down!

Pizza Joy!

I needed to end the night by doing something festive and because Austin's house is a yard full of holiday wonder . . . we had to check out the Christmas collection!

As you can see, it did not disappoint!

West Coast Christmas

I had visions of non-stop creativity and holiday bliss.  In a sense it's true, but not exactly what I had envisioned. 

Maybe it's still too early?  Maybe ward Christmas parties take up a lot of time (I mean it in a good way!)?  Perhaps real life gets in the way (ie. work, weekend class, errands, laundry, dishes)?  Or perhaps the holiday cheer will kick into high gear once my little brother gets here this weekend, school gets out, and we head off to Illinois?  We're excited for the later!

Life has been busy but it's also been good to us.

As promised, I am staying true to my countdown to Christmas . . .

I love Brooke White.  I loved her years ago on American Idol . . .I thought she was like sunshine . . . so cheerful and nice and carefree.  Her song "California Christmas" is FREE on iTunes  right now!  Living in Las Vegas, I can relate to this song --minus the sand and the beach.

It's catchy and I've been listening to it over and over again, today.

Go download it!

A Birthday and a Treat

December 5th's festivities focused on Steven's birthday rather than the holidays.  I'm a little sad that his birthday falls in December . . .

1.  Boys are hard to shop for.

2.  Gifts and surprises need to be split up throughout the year.

Mr. D finally caught up to me age-wise!  And he made it know that it was a great birthday indeed, so I'm pretty happy with that. 

Originally, I did not know how I would feel about this ice cream.  I like peppermint in small doses, usually with lots and lots of chocolate.  However, I went with the seasonal option.  I'm glad I did!  It's so creamy and it's only 100 calories per 1/2 cup . . . very little guilt there!  BUT I really wanted this to be even better . . .a brownie possibly?  So, in lieu of Steven's birthday, his mom made brownies and I took one home to eat with my Peppermint Ice Cream.  Just what I've been craving and oh so perfect!

A VERY Happy 29th Birthday to my sweet huz!

Christmas Card Keepsakes

This evening, I was in the mood to wrap, trim, and tie ribbons because tomorrow is Steven's birthday!  He's finally catching up to me.  Don't worry, he's made these last two months well-known that I'm older!

Tonight's project came from an idea I found a while back on Pinterest (of course!).  I can't part with Christmas card photos, because I love to see how much our friends and family have changed over the years.  I needed something to keep the cards organized and out for viewing.

And this is what came to be!

Materials needed:

1" Book Rings

Hole Punch

Scissors

Various pieces of ribbon of different sizes and textures (depending on what you like)

Perfect for a coffee table or for keeping under the tree!

Christmas Shopping

I made a good little jump start to my Christmas shopping!  The Vegas outlets are fabulous and with the great prices PLUS coupons, they can't be beat.  So yay for some progress in the Christmas shopping department!

I also wanted to share that our Christmas decor is up and running! Besides the fact that we need a normal size tree . . . we'll wait until the good ones go on clearance; things are pretty merry around here!

On Replay

And so it is the time of year where we fall asleep to "The Holiday".  That's exactly what we did Sunday night.  It's a favorite of ours . . . Cameron Diaz is a bit obnoxious but I absolutely adore Jude Law! Such a doll.

I think a lot of it is the cottage in England.  Simply charming to the point that I wish that, I too, was there.

Speaking of other media on replay . . .

I love LOVE this song from Cider Sky! 

25 Days Until Christmas

I've decided to do something fun in order to gear up for the Christmas holidays.  My blog has been slacking and because I loved doing "30 Days of Gratitude" (it made me feel more festive) I am doing "Capturing December" via Instagram AS WELL AS my own "25 Days Until Christmas" via the blog.

What does this entail?  Well, everyday until Christmas, I am going to do a little something to celebrate the season.  It may be a holiday movie, a craft, holiday baking, choosing festive flavors at restaurants/cafes, or doing something out in the community.  An 'interactive advent calendar' per say.  Excited to participate and excited to share . . . I have some fun ideas!

This weekend we have our good friends Matt and Loral visiting us from Vancouver, Washington.  We haven't seen them since the day we moved from UT -- over two years ago.  It's just like where we left off.  We miss them immensely, but are grateful to have them here for the weekend!  I'll share what we have been up to later this week.

Matt and Loral are foodies . . . aka my kind of people.  So they wanted to be able to enjoy the variety of chains that are good but not on every corner . . .  ie. Cafe Rio, Yogurtland, and some other places that are unique to this city.

We had a late night craving for frozen yogurt and so we took them to Yogurtland (my favorite!) where I enjoyed December 1st's day of being festive.

I ordered . . . White Chocolate Macadamia, Peppermint Hot Chocolate sprinkled with Andes Mints, and Andes Peppermint Crunch!

Delicious!

Yet, Again!

Thanksgiving weekend was fabulous!  It's so wonderful to be able to celebrate a day of gratitude for all of the many blessings in your life, and then to have a few days off in order to gear up for the holidays.

In a lot of ways, this has been one of the hardest years of my life (maybe even hardest?) but I have grown so much; and what I do have . . .has manifested itself ten-fold.  It may sound ridiculous, but I am so happy that I consistently posted onto my "30 Days of Thanksgiving" via Instagram.  It has helped me identify the things that I do have, rather than dwell on the things that I don't have.  There have been several occasions, where I have been brought to tears with complete joy and gratitude.  I don't think that in all of my existence, I have had a Thanksgiving season quite like this one.

Life is good.

I am blessed.

I actually signed onto this little blog thinking that I would just post about one of my weekend's projects, but it just seemed fitting to express my most recent thoughts.

So yes, I made another yarn wreath.  The last one was so fun that I thought that I would try my luck at it again . . . and with a felt poinsettia tutorial on Pinterest, why not make a Christmas one?!

Any fun holiday crafting in the works for you?

With a "crafting bug" that has hit me so hard . . . I have a list full!

Conference Weekend and Getting Festive

I love conference weekend.  So many inspiring and uplifting things are said, which make you ponder your own life and put things into perspective.  Here are a few of the quotes that struck me most with my life and our situation. . . 


"So often we get caught up in the illusion that there is something just beyond our reach that would bring us happiness — a better family situation, a better financial situation, or the end of a challenging trial." "The older we get, the more we look back and realize that external circumstances don't really matter or determine our happiness. We do matter. We determine our happiness. You and I are ultimately in charge of our own happiness."


"No matter our circumstances, no matter our challenges or trials, there is something in each day to embrace and cherish. There is something in each day that can bring gratitude and joy if only we will see and appreciate it. Perhaps we should be looking less with our eyes and more with our hearts." -Dieter F. Uchtdorf


"There is a tragic irony in the multitude of children eliminated or injured before birth while throngs of infertile couples long for and seek babies to adopt." -Dallin H. Oaks 


By definition, trials will be trying. "There may be anguish, confusion, sleepless nights and pillows wet with tears. But our trials need not be spiritually fatal. They need not take us from our covenants, or from the household of God." -Neil L. Andersen

It's true, we've been through a lot this year, but I can honestly say that things are getting easier and that I'm in a better place.  I'm in a place where I can hear these words and be open and receptive.  

As for my weekend of craftiness. . . 

When I received my October issue of Country Living  I thought, "I'll do that!"  They made it seem so easy. . .tape your chevron pattern, paint away, and Voila!  

Nope. . .paint came off with the painter's tape.  The only reason I finished the asymmetrical pumpkin is because I did it by hand.

On the bright side, I actually have something on my porch this year, and Halloween and Fall decorations are out! 

Results Are In. . .

After about three hours at the doctor's office on Thursday, we made a game plan. 

Initially, we thought that we would go the IUI route, because we were under the impression that our insurance covered 6 rounds of the procedure.  They do in fact cover the actual procedure; but do not cover the meds, monitoring, etc . . . which would cost us over 3k per cycle.  Ahhh, never underestimate the fine print!

So at 3k per cycle - with very little probability (due to my condition), we are going the IVF route.  In a way, we had to pick how we are going to gamble!  3k a pop (with a low probabilty) for several rounds VS. the cost of IVF (with a higher probability) for up to a year's worth of embryo transfers.  We'll pick the latter.

**I learned something new.  With IVF, you create a batch of good embryos and then freeze them.  Each time you attempt implantation, is called a "transfer".  I was always under the impression that each transfer was around 10k, and maybe it is in some places . . . I don't know, but at FCLV we get unlimited transfers for a year or until it results in a pregnancy with a live birth (within the year).

So, there you go.  If we want a family, this is our route.

My (Honest) Feelings. . . 

- I am thankful for modern medicine.  We at least have an option to have a family, whereas, we probably would not have had one a few decades ago.
(I'm not dismissing adoption as being a family unit.  I'm strictly referring to having a biological family)

- Even though my dad is an REI of a physician, I feel like I personally only know of 5 others (maybe!), who are in our age group and have had to do IVF.  It's kind of isolating (I've used this word a lot - but it fits the circumstances).

- There are some feelings of, "Why do we have to pay to have a family, when others do not?"  Don't get me started on the people who are irresponsible.  It doesn't seem fair; but then again, life isn't fair for anyone. . .

- There is a level of guilt attached with the fact that, I am the factor.  I need to remind myself that we are in it together.  Steven has been nothing but supportive.  The guy deserves more credit than I give him.  I am beyond grateful for him!

-Okay. . . this part is funny!  Steven has this issue with how children are created/conceived.  He never wanted to tell anyone that we were trying because he didn't want for people to know what that entailed.   Well, it kind of all came out when we were trying forever and nothing . . . and then my surgery, etc.  So, at least our kids will be conceived in a lab . . . bam! Sterile, purely scientific.  Perfect for my science-teacher-of-a-husband! Ha!

**Disclosure - These may offend some of you, or you may perceive me as ungrateful.  These are my honest feelings about the matter and this being my personal blog; I am posting my thoughts.**

After some budgeting and saving, we'll start in a few months!

Our Fourth - 2012

I love spending the 4th here in my hometown.  I feel so patriotic celebrating in a smaller town.  I have yet to spend our nation's holiday in Vegas, but something tells me that it wouldn't feel the same.  I may be completely wrong. . .

This Fourth. . .

-We (more like, I) decided it was a boat shoe kinda day - So American, ha!

-Once again, my dad outdid himself on the BBQ - his fajitas were FANTASTIC!

-We went down by the Rock River for fireworks and left a disheveled mess (the humidity is deadly right now. . .my hair is proof).

-We caved in, and at 11pm; we found ourselves savoring the Red, White, and Blue Trifle (one of our best traditions, yet!)

-I got to spend another holiday with my family, which is, always terrific!

Tomorrow, we are off to St. Louis for a Cardinal's game, sampling of a Man vs. Food restaurant, and exploring my little brother's favorite city!  I love summer!

Road Trip!

My lack of posting is due to the fact that we have spent the last week traveling and are now in ILLINOIS! Yay! 

One of the benefits of us both working in the education system, is that we get summers off!  Just like the old days.  So we loaded up the car. . .Bear in tow. . .and are now crashing with my family for the month!

We stopped in Utah for a few days to visit with family and friends; many of which we realize, are truly missed! 

Things I'm Looking Forward to This Month. . . 

My Mom's Cooking

All-American Style 4th of July

Visit Family/Time Spent With Family

STL Cardinals Game

Chicago

Sewing

Time With Friends

Lake Time

. . .and Much More!

And, luckily, my 'dumb phone' died and I have now been forced to join the club. . .

Finally!